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January 7, 2009

I was just reading Mateobeccar’s and Pengbro2’s stories, (which are both amazing!) and then I read my story, The Beginning of The EDWAF, and realized it makes absolutely NO SENSE!

Therefore, I just started rewriting the story because some ideas I had for the end wouldn’t make sense.

I’m probably going to rewrite the version I have now until it is the best it can be. So if there’s anything in it that needs to be changed, even if it’s just one tiny sentence, please tell me!

Also, I’m really sorry if you liked the original version. I think it had too much dialogue.

 

~Leziverre11098

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. January 7, 2009 7:59 AM

    Good idea! An author always strives to make his/her work as best as it can be!

  2. January 7, 2009 8:03 AM

    And you said that if there is anything we should tell you so here i am: I think that the 2 main characters shouldn’t start an army by themselves. Maybe they could talk to a friend (adult friend) and convince him the need for the army or something like that. I just think that two ten year olds starting an army is corny.

    Not trying to be offensive! I am helping you make your story better. And I don’t think that my story is perfect so if you see a mistake or wanna suggest something then go ahead.

  3. leziverre11098 permalink*
    January 8, 2009 8:49 PM

    I agree that the idea of two ten year olds starting an army is corny… I just really wish you told me that before now… 😥

    Mateobeccar: Sorry, just thought if you hadn’t ask for suggestions you would be offended.

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